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Child Confused, Does Not Recognize Humpty Hump

By a Gossiping Bitch on October 20th, 2003

A Bethlehem, Pennsylvania child was stranded and confused on the internet earlier today, when he admitted he did not know who rapper Humpty Hump of Digital Underground was when his picture was posted to an internet BBS forum.

Assuming the nom-de-web of Xavier, the 15 year old high school student says he did not mean to disrupt the internet by asking who the person was in the picture. “I didn’t understand,” relayed a bewildered Xavier from an instant message communication from his home in Bethlehem. “The person in the picture looked strange to me, and I did not understand his relationship to the post, which was about Burger King bathrooms?”

Gerald MadVert, the internet user who originally posted Humpty Hump’s photograph to the forum, declined to comment.

Once it was explained to Xavier that Humpty was a member of Digital Underground, he immediately hit up several mp3 file-sharing networks and downloaded 63 of the group’s songs. With restored confidence he returned to the message board to triumphantly proclaim, “Yeah, their songs are pretty good (not as great as YOU guys make them out to be). I like Shock G a lot better than Humpty, though.”

“I was outraged,” says another BBS poster who asked to remain anonymous. “I mean, who does he think he is? How are you going to come onto an internet BBS hiphop website and not know who Humpty Hump is?…I’ve been thinking about leaving the internet for a while now. This may have pushed me to the limit.”

Parents were notified of the incident and many of the kids who said they were under the age of 13 when registering to the forum, were sent home from the internet early today. At press time, Humpty Hump’s publicist said the rapper was “dismayed, but not surprised” and said a formal press conference would be held within the week to squelch concerns over future internet posting regarding his image.

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