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Motherfuckin Wyclef Motherfuckin Sick of Losin!

By a Gossiping Bitch on August 26th, 2010

The Haitian Electoral Commission (“Even we have standards!”) has announced the disqualification of rap singer Wyclef Jean from his presidential candidacy bid.

“I was going to fight this in Haitian court,” Jean declared, “but then they came back at me like, ‘the joke is on you pal, we have no courts!’ So I guess that’s that.”

Since the disbanding of Jean’s popular rap group the Fugees he has been luckless in attempts to escape from underneath the shadow of its most talented and beloved member, Prakazrel Michel (better known as Pras).

When reminded of this, Jean asked, “Why are you reminding me of this?”

The Haitian born Jean (requests for birth certificate confirmation went unanswered) spent years months an entire week planning his bid for Haitian presidency, with a defeat rumored to have been delivered by the popular messaging service Twitter from none other than incumbent President René Préval.”

Elsewhere on the Interwebs, tension between Prakazrel and Wyclef continued to flare following Pras’ public denouncement of support for Wyclef as Haiti’s president.

Intrepid community members at the Hollertronix BBS noticed that several domain names were purchased earlier this month under the name P.S. Michel with an address based in Brooklyn, New York. Domains included:

http://www.fffffffuckyouwyclef.com
http://www.thecarnivalsucked.com
http://www.meandlaurynallonyourcouch.com

When reached for comment, Pras said, “Hey, you called!”

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