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Open Job Offer to Nick Sylvester

By a Gossiping Bitch on March 3rd, 2006

Gossiping Bitches proudly offers (former?) Village Voice/Pitchfork writer Nick Sylvester the position of associate editor. Not to say we need any new talent or anything; you’ll have to compete with several of the brightest writers on the web for precious space on a dynamic, constantly updating website. But the fact can’t be denied: we like your style. Sure, some naysayers may say nay at the propriety of a journalist blurring the line between lie and Big Lie, but this line is what the GBs are all about. We live on that line. We’ve snorted that line with several celebrities, in fact (check the archives). The fabricators among us must stick together in a media environment so intolerant of the type of entertaining half-truths and noble untruths GB publishes daily (okay, semiannually). And that’s word to our overseas correspondent Jayson Blair (currently on assignment in Islamastangeria).

So, Mr. Sylvester, holla back. Our pay is competitive (assuming you were being paid nothing, that is — which we understand was likely the case at Pitchfork), our lies fantastical, our identities untraceable (all defamation lawsuits against us name GB editors Germ Alms and Mike Ock as defendants and are served on a dry cleaner in Norman, Oklahoma). We offer everything that the rest of this cold, unforgiving media world does not and stand up for the principles of free untruthful speech (what we refer to as the 1st and a half Amendment). We await your response.

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