Gossiping Bitches

Polaroid Warns Against Dangers of ‘Shake It’

Polaroid Warns Against Dangers of Shake ItLondon – Spurred by the accelerated sales of instant-developing Polaroid film by way of the hit Outkast song, ‘Hey Ya’, Polaroid has issued warnings to its customers regarding the dangers of shaking it.

“Almost everybody does it,” forewarns the company’s website, referring to the hand motion that photographers use to help along the self-developing film. “At first it’s once a week. Then maybe a few times a week. Until it becomes second nature and you just can’t stop.”

In the Outkast song, Andre 3000 champions listeners to, “shake it like a Polaroid picture.” Polaroid has asked the group to change its lyrics to the more P.C. (that’s, Polaroid Correct) phrase, “lay it on a flat surface like a Polaroid picture.”

Andre 3000 responded, “I made two versions of my album! We don’t talk about, uh, harassing and sexually brutalizing Polaroid film in my music, man! We don’t do that in my music, man! I’m tired of you saying that!”

As we tried to get away from an enraged Andre, he pulled us back and retorted: “Outkast concerts are for adults. What is this?? Is this not America? This is not China! This is not Russia! This is not the place where they brought down the wall. Our record is a year old, but with all the publicity, there’s a lot of people … curiosity is around. What I do in my house is my business!”

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