Punchline Emcees Scramble to Work Yankees Loss into Raps

After the New York Yankees’ monumental loss to the Boston Red Sox in Major League Baseball’s American League Championship Series, many opportunistic rappers are already considering punchlines to take advantage of the situation. From backpackers to homo-thugs, emcees are working at a fever pitch to come up with similes relating to the series for use in various freestyles and album tracks. “I’ve got a few good ones so far,” said New Mexico emcee Talent Ed. “‘Don’t curse like Heavy D or the Red Sox’ or ‘Reversing curses like the FCC or the Red Sox’, but I dunno. I still haven’t found that one that makes heads react like Dikembe Mutumbo at a dunk contest.”

San Francisco-based rapper Rhombus the Unpredictable offered this line: “‘I got my hands around your neck, so it’s easy to see/You’re about to choke and be eliminated like the New York Yankees.’ This line will work well if I’m in a freestyle battle and my challenger tries to dis my hands, or throw up his hands, or some shit like that.”

The reason for the rush is that pop culture punchlines tend to have an incredibly short shelf life. “They have to be more current than the ocean,” said punchline aficionado/actor Chino XL from the set of Guiding Light, “or timely like a Rolex factory or an employee of the month. A quick topical punchline can have more impact than a Broadway production put on by elves. Wait too long, though, and it will get less response than playing Marco Polo with mutes.”

Many naysayers claim these quick one-off punchlines cheapen the art of emceeing and are actually detrimental to hip-hop overall. XL disagrees. “Remember when Jay-Z dropped that twin towers line on his Black Album follow-up mixtape? Or how about when Phife dropped all those OJ and Barney references throughout Beats, Rhymes, and Life? Man, that stuff is timeless like a man without wrists.”

In a related story, many smarmy website writers are also scrambling to work the Yankees loss into fake news articles such as this one before it becomes old hat like used condoms.