news: Guess What I Just Heard


Video Game Character Strengthens Asian Stereotypes

By a Gossiping Bitch on November 6th, 2003

SPIRA, Final Fantasy Universe — Wakka, the nascent character from Square-Enix’s massively popular Playstation2 video game, Final Fantasy X has been fingered as a compulsive camera thief in real life. Friends said the problem developed shortly after his debut Playstation2 game appeared on store shelves. Wakka’s profile on the official Final Fantasy X website describes his primary weapon as “balls” and states Wakka is “generally a kind person, he has rigid ideas of what should and should not be done.” Apparently, camera theft is not on Wakka’s list of moral do’s and dont’s.

“He got so turned out, it was so horrible,” relayed Wakka’s close friend in Final Fantasy X, Yuna, who is currently on the road doing promotion for the game’s forthcoming sequel, Final Fantasy X-2. “We all saw changes in Wakka within the first week of the game’s release. The money just took control of him…and then came the drugs, and the women. When he stopped playing with his balls, we knew something was wrong.”

The leisure of money and the “rock n’ roll” lifestyle afforded Wakka less restraints, and he soon ditched his pixels in favor of a life of camera theft in the real world as a means for a creative outlet. “I guess he just got sick of playing with his balls so much,” says Tidus, the game’s protagonist. “The whole [camera] thing was a little joke we used to tease him with off-the-set of the game. You know…he’s Asian, Asians love cameras…I think he took it to heart. Art imitated Life, you know?”

Representatives for the game’s publisher Square-Enix could not be contacted at press time, and there has been no official word from Sony, the company who manufactures the Playstation2 video game console. Fans have created a pledge for Wakka to return to the video game world, in the hopes he will seek counsel.

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