Desert, Middle East — Yassar Arafat gleamed like a child in a candy store this past Thursday when he had a “meet and greet” session with his favorite rappers Luke “Saint” Heavenswalker and Fresh Kid Shallabashachamach of the controversial rap group “2 Live Crux” at his compound in the West Bank. Smiles and pounds were abound as Arafat led the two men, their entourage, and a small press gathering on a short tour through his compound and armory. “I would like to stress,” explained Arafat, “that these guns are not for terrorist raids on Israelis. No, they are instead for us to wear with our bling when we are together with our homies.”
Members of 2 Live Crux did not comment on this meeting except to say it was “most motherfunking Holy.” Israel Prime Minister Ariel Sharon has gone on record saying that the music of 2 Live Crux is most despicable and has lashed out at American corporation Pepsico for using 2 Live Crux in their cola ad campaigns. On this matter, Fresh Kid Shallabashachamach said, “We are tired of this slander brought forth by Sharon. We made two versions of our album As Fanatic As They Wanna Be, one for Arabs and one for Israelis. We dropped explosive leaflets all over Middle East warning children that album’s content was for extremists only. We put sticker on album that says, ‘Infidel Advisory: Inflammatory Lyrics’. No one else has made this much effort to advise people of their content. So what else are we supposed to do? It is not our fault that some of our fans blow up buses.”
Dancers for the hiphop group, 2 Live Crux:
