Gossiping Bitches

Scribble Jam 2005 Canceled

Today it was announced that Scribble Jam, the annual Mid-Western celebration of White music culture, has been canceled, with promoters fearing complications due to the heightened security measures following the recent London subway bombings. “You have to understand, everyone attending this event will be wearing a backpack,” says promoter Klaus Hoeppner. “It’s just a logistical nightmare.”

Hoeppner is referring to the ongoing bag searches which have become standard on NYC subway lines and are now required for all major gatherings throughout the country, Scribble Jam included. “Sure, we had people checking bags at previous shows, but to be honest it was pretty lackadaisical — I had like friends and family members checking every tenth bag or whatever,” he admits. “I mean, how many iPods and Sharpies do you have to sort through before you realize nobody is trying to bomb the place? Bomb meaning bad, not bomb meaning good.”

In the wake of the terrorist attacks, however, promoters are being forced to hire trained police to go through every bag that passes through the gates, a move which they predict will cause bottlenecks at all entrances and wreak havoc with show attendance. “We can’t have people waiting in line three hours and then miss the show,” says Hoeppner. “The last thing I need is a bunch of angry Brother Ali fans — last year the mics cut out for ten minutes and people damn near caused a riot. There were trucker hats everywhere. Total chaos.”

Promoters hope to reschedule Scribble Jam for later in the year “when things have calmed down a bit,” and say they will provide refunds on all tickets. “It’s a damn shame, really. We sold plenty of advance tickets, but if they can’t get into the venues then it really doesn’t make sense to go through with it,” says Hoeppner. “I’m just hoping all these Boca burgers don’t go bad.”

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