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Son of Chewbacca Wishes to Maintain Legacy

By a Gossiping Bitch on January 26th, 2004

Son of Chewbacca Wishes to Maintain LegacyIn the climactic finale of the 6th Star Wars movie, “Return of the Jedi,” explosions and shooting stars were the call for the day as the Jedi Rebels faced off with the Evil Galactic Empire on the planet of Endor. However, fireworks were apparently going down off-screen as well, as the bastard child of the film’s protagonist, Chewbacca has stepped forward to reveal he wants to follow in the footsteps of his intergalactic drug smuggling father.

Foofiewoof, the illegitimate son of the Wookie Chewbacca, was conceived and born on the planet of Endor during the shooting of the final Star Wars movie. Foofiewoof’s mother, an Ewok, says she felt her unexpected and out of wedlock pregnancy would damage Chewbacca’s diplomatic reputation as an ambassador for the dismemberment of the Empire. “Eruh, eh eruh meep,” wrote the mother in an email, requesting her identity stay anonymous. “Meep, reh eruh. Jub jub.”

While Chewbacca and his partner Han Solo assured members of the Rebel Alliance that their intergalactic drug smuggling days were over, Chewbacca is presently doing a 10 year bid in the Kessel Spice Mines after police recognized his ship, the Millennium Falcon, from the movies and approached the vessel for an autograph. Chewbacca fled at the site of the police units, and gave the officers an exhaustive chase through hyperspace, until Chewbacca reared into a Star Destroyer while trying to pull off a risky maneuver.

Chewy’s son Foofiewoof says he’s unfazed by his father’s past, and wants an opportunity to continue his father’s name and legacy. Foofiewoof is confident he’ll be cast in an upcoming Star Wars movie, despite George Lucas’ claims there will be no such sequel. For now, Foofiewoof looks forward to seeing his father reprise his role in 2005’s, “Episode III.”

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