columns: According to My Sources


Dear Gossiping Bitch

By a Gossiping Bitch on June 25th, 2004

Dear Gossiping Bitch,
you fuckin stuck up plastic snitch ass dyke READ THIS SHIT u fucking hoe
FUCK YOU and ur mama and ur grandmama for writing such bullshit on tupac, tupac was the realest nigga ever and would cuss u the fuck out on the street be lucky though he wouldnt smack ya ass down cuz he no woman beater, even no fake ignorant “net-bitch” like u
u little trick
i hope u and ur whole family dies of aids for that nonsense
fucking hoe
– Tha Remixez Staff

Dear Tha Remixez Staff,
If 2Pac saw you on the street, he would be ashamed of you. Spelling it “AIDS” when it could easily be “AIDZ”? That ain’t hoo-ridin’. Thanks for reading!
– GB

Dear Gossiping Bitch,
Who the fuck are you to judge Tupac? Your probably just some skank ass ho who doesn’t know her asshole from a hole in the wall. You are a dumb slut and stupid-ass skank, what have you got to say thats good about your life? He uplifted an entire race and is poet. What do you have besides some shitty-ass website….NOTHING
– R. Dubois

Dear R. Dubois,
I can’t think of anything about my life that is better than Tupac “2Pac” Shakur’s except for this: I have mine, he doesn’t. Thanks for reading!
– GB

Dear Gossiping Bitch,
A little harsh on the Meth album. You are criticizing the artist not the artwork. The song is great. The Busta/ Meth song is great. The contacts are dope. Meth wanted this album to have a little bit of a “Party Rap” feel to it. I think he did a great job of keeping a balance of Party Rap along with his Wu-Tang grimey roots. That is why I said you are criticizing the artist not the artwork. You can’t compare it to his previous work. Nothing will be able to touch Tical. So just enjoy the fact that Meth is still one of the greatest MCs of all time from the greatest rap group of all time.
By the way, people are still buying Meth’s albums, it debuted at #2.
– Clifford Smith aka God Shakwan Allah aka Hot Nicks aka Johnny Blaze aka my foot in your mouth you gossiping bitch.

Dear Method Man,
I think, Mr. Nickels, that you have me all wrong. It isn’t that I don’t like the artist, it’s just that I don’t think he is one. Have you seen that awful Meth & Red show? Christ, that was a fine piece of garbage if I’ve ever seen it. And now he’s crying that the network didn’t give him enough creative control–how many references to smoking weed do we really need in one television show?! Whether it’s shilling for deodorant or running around to radio stations talking about how the Wu is dead, Method Man is a walking marketing device, a caricature of a ‘hood rich Black pothead who is no more an artist than the people that devise new hamburgers for McDonald’s. Now you want to test my steez? Clifford, please. Thanks for reading!
– GB

Dear Gossiping Bitch.
Hello, my name is Patrick Collins. We wanted to let you know that we have received and reviewed your mrtgage applicaton. We are happy to let you know it has been approved at a 40 year low rate. But first, well need some more information.
We look forward to hearing from you.
Patrick Collins
USA Lenders Network

Dear Patrick Collins, USA Lenders Network,
Hello, my name is Gossiping Bitch. I wanted to let you know that I received your unsolicited, poorly-written, and misspelled e-mail. I am happy to let you know that, despite the fact that you probably have no more than a third-grade education, whatever scam you’re running will work on a significant portion of the internet population. Not me, though! I spent all my money on some breast enlargement cream.
Thanks for reading!
A Gossiping Bitch

Send me all your questions, comments and threats, and I promise to get back to you asap! That is, of course, unless I don’t.

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