news: Guess What I Just Heard


Cheney Rocks Triple Fat Goose at Auschwitz Memorial, “Shows Love” for The Inc.

By a Gossiping Bitch on February 1st, 2005

AP — Most people would consider being arrested on federal money laundering charges a bad thing, but not Irv Gotti. The label head proudly struck his best Al Capone impression, mean-mugging and screw-facing as he was hauled away by FBI agents last week, visibly proud of taking his place alongside other notable hip-hop figures who have had legal troubles. Sources close to Gotti say he is hopeful that his case will lend much needed thug credibility to the label and gain publicity for its releases. He is also said to be “ecstatic” about a recent perceived shout out from very high up.

From his jail cell, Gotti has spoken about Vice-President Dick Cheney’s decision to wear a goose-down parka at the memorial ceremony to mark the 60 year anniversary of the liberation of the Nazi death camp at Auschwitz, in a gesture of solidarity with the troubled rap music mogul. “The Veep has been down with The Inc. for a minute now,” said Gotti. “He got his total world domination shit going on just like us. He’s been a CEO too, and by doing this, he’s just showing he knows the game is cold sometimes. For him to ride for us like this…well, it means a lot right now. We’re gonna beat this shit, just like he gonna beat the shit he gettin’ in Iran. Uh, I mean, Iraq.”

When asked to comment on Gotti’s statement, Cheney simply said, “Who?” When pressed further about the parka, he answered, “Look, it was cold as a motherfucker out there — what the fuck else was I supposed to do? I even asked if they could maybe turn on a few of those ovens they had there. Y’know, warm the place up a little? They said they couldn’t. Something about it might upset some fuckin’ Jews. Jesus, I thought I could come to Europe to get away from that kinda shit…”

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