news: Guess What I Just Heard


Muslims Ease Alcohol, Drug Restrictions

By a Gossiping Bitch on October 2nd, 2003

Earlier today it was announced, “The GOD” himself, Rakim, would become alcoholic beverage, Hennessy cognac’s latest spokesperson, signaling a new ease of restrictions by Muslims in the United States towards drugs and alcohol. Rakim is a member of the 5% Nation of Gods and Earths.

Hennessy also reported it had one of the ugliest websites ever.

Gossiping Bitches contacted Ahaji Hennessy regrading Rakim’s new ad only because “Ahaji” sounds kinda Muslim and he has the word “Hennessy” in his name, and he apparently likes Hennessy cognac: “I accidentally peeped my behind in the mirror the other day and I was like, ‘Damn Alhaji u got a pretty tight behind for a guy…But [I] had to come back to my senses and realize that if I could see I had an above-average butt, then so could the faggots out there.”


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