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Posts Tagged ‘consumerism’

Star-Bucka-Bucka-Blaow!

November 3rd, 2005
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Last month, Starbucks, the notorious Seattle-based caffeine cartel, announced the establishment of their latest stronghold in the rough and tumble neighborhood of Compton, California. Compton, widely credited as the birthplace of The Gangsta Rap and considered one of the most dangerous cities in America (I see you East St. Louis), is a far cry from […]

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U.S. Market Deems Audio Cassettes and Canadians Obsolete

January 28th, 2005
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After tallying the sales figures for 2004, the U.S. Department of Consumerism issued a list of items that could officially be deemed obsolete due to “lack of interest.” Included on the list are sheepskin condoms, audio cassette tapes, and most interestingly, Canadians. “Honestly, I am not the least bit surprised,” said Dr. Tervenmayer-Gunk, head of […]

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