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Fat Beats Closes Stores, Rendering Percee P Homeless

By a Gossiping Bitch on August 19th, 2010

The underground hip-hop community was dealt a serious blow this week when the legendary Fat Beats announced the closing of its last two locations, New York and Los Angeles. The announcement has brought grief to fans, supporters, and music lovers, many of whom bemoaned the state of underground hip-hop, the music industry, and vinyl culture, but no one is more personally affected by the closings than rapper Percee P. “I’m officially homeless now,” the CD-hustling rhymer noted. “I may as well go down to the shelter and try to grab a cot. I know they keepin’ they online distribution open, but how the fuck am I supposed to stand in front of a website? That shit’s non-cipher.”

Percee P Solicits a customer outside of Fat Beats, NYC

Making a sale: Percee P solicits a customer outside of Fat Beats, NYC

Percee P had been a Fat Beats mainstay, as everybody from regular customer to would-be browser to passerby found it impossible to be anywhere near the storefront without being subject to a CD sales pitch delivered in a classic 1989 cadence. “I was in there on the regular, stocking up on Non-Phixion 12s and whatnot,” says longtime customer DJ Bluntz, “and Percee just came with the territory. I remember I walked up in there once without hearing, ‘Ayyo, you got that…’ and thinking shit was too quiet, nahmean? Something was missing. Now homeboy ain’t got nuthin’. It’s sad, man. Fat Beats was all he had. Now he’s stuck with a bunch of demo CD-Rs and no place to hustle ’em.”

Asked what he’ll do next, Percee replied, “I heard they still sellin’ CDs up in the amazon or something,” confusing the online retailer for the rain forest. “I might make a move down there, yo?”

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4 thoughts on “Fat Beats Closes Stores, Rendering Percee P Homeless”

  1. steve says:

    HAHAHa, Nice post. Where are all the comments?

    Percee P for President.

    Peace from MD

  2. Chaz says:

    Ha, wow.

  3. bob d says:

    that’s wordsworth in the picture.

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