A looong way from the Terrordome, NY — What Gossiping Bitches has been reporting for, like, ever has finally become officially recognized, as beefing thug rappers 50 Cent and The Game announced at a press conference Wednesday the launching of their new charity/political action committee/money laundering scheme, Rappers Are Pussies.
R.A.P., the rappers said, will serve multiple publicity garnering purposes, until people stop caring and it is dissolved quietly a month from now. Among them include giving drop-in-the-diamond-encrusted-bucket token amounts to low income families “on a come up,” who in turn will probably waste the money on lottery tickets or sugar packets or whatever else poor people like to buy; joining forces with various goofball cooze hound reverends and ministers to stop hip-hop beefs by encouraging rappers to publicly emasculate themselves at press conferences; and funneling funds amassed in the drug trade into a legitimate organization for the purpose of hiding them from the I.R.S. It is not clear why the rappers chose to make public that last one.
The press conference proved to be yet another example of thug rappers attempting to live out gangster movies, complete with a Godfather style sit-down and climactic embrace to signify the arrival of a truce. When asked if he appreciated the irony of imitating movie characters who have very low views of people of his skin tone, 50 Cent mumbled, “wwwhaatvrrr …I jusstrytoojfsufjfgmezzzwwwrrrr,” and shot another cheese grin.