columns: According to My Sources


Backroom Whispers

By a Gossiping Bitch on May 3rd, 2004

We’ve no idea how closely you follow the lives of Eurotrash like Victoria “Posh” Beckham (ex-Spice Girl, wife of Real Madrid soccer ace David Beckham, and occasional Rocawear model). Not too closely, we’d imagine. So, how interested you’d be in what’s been going on between her and Dame Dash…well, we can’t call it. Still, they first hooked up last year, when Dame got involved in an abortive attempt to resurrect her singing career ($1m in unpaid studio bills and one bankrupt label later, and still no album), in return for her acting as the face of Rocawear’s women’s line in Europe, but we’re inclined to think that Dame was really makin’ moves like Puff, and just trying to hike up his own profile with the cheese-eating surrender monkeys. Well, it worked. The recent Eurotabloid frenzy over David Beckham’s extra-marital creepin’ made extensive reference to our boy Dame, even hinting at a little love-triangle shit. Which would make sense, since Dame’s been running round New York for a minute now, claiming to have been fucking someone real famous. Two separate and independent sources have told us that the “someone” is Victoria Beckham. Of course, now that it’s a big news story on the other side of the Atlantic, Dame is denying that he ever did anything with her. We’re assuming that this includes giving her herpes. Which he did.

Which goody two shoes former-supermodel-turned-actress managed to keep her heroin habit on the DL for years, even from her Hollywood A list hubby?

And while we’re on the topic of drugs, what’s that we heard about Hilary Duff going all-out to be the next Drew Barrymore, adolescent yayo habit and all?

Full-time yahoo and part-time Snuffleupagus impersonator Macy Gray is hoping that changing her name to Mite B will make people forget that she couldn’t hit a note with a laser-guided bomb and start buying her records again. Seems she’s operating under the belief that it worked for Prince and Puff Daddy (does this bitch even know what Soundscan is?), so it’ll work for her. Maybe she ought to devote her energies to moderating her crazy-ass behavior on stage – at a recent show, she was blissfully unaware that anyone sat in the bleachers could clearly see her having a mid-song toot behind the amps.

A GB source speaking on Billy “How’s My Driving?” Joel: “He’s perpetually drunk and weird. The cops are totally on his side down there—I’ve seen it with my own eyes. He probably was drunk, and they just turned a blind eye on the whole situation. I’ve seen him frighteningly tipsy, hitting on 20-year-olds in L.I. restaurants, begging for phone numbers, and swaying when he walks. It’s all kinda sad really.”

Even though MTV is canceling The Osbournes, Sharon is still touting around the format to other networks. We’re wondering if she’ll throw in the tape (filmed by Jack) of Kelly fooling around with some ho and taking hits of coke and crystal meth between eating at the “Y” as part of the deal.

The God Rakim got arrested just as he was about to take the stage during last week’s Ghostface show at New York’s Roseland Ballroom. The charges (nonpayment of child support) were dropped soon afterwards. This didn’t come as a surprise to the GBs, since we know that Rakim has been having child support payments deducted directly from his royalties for a few years now. So has Eric B. And Dres from the Black Sheep.

A friend of the GBs met Luke Wilson a few months back and asked him who was the biggest asshole in Hollywood. Without missing a beat, he replied, “Ryan Adams. That guy is a real jerk.”

P. Diddy is still spending dough like a motherfucker. After dropping $10m for a big-ass loft in January, he recently broke off another $2.5m for a spot in Dunwoody, GA “to be close to [his girlfriend] Kim Porter and his two sons, Justin and Quincy”. Check the specs: seven bedrooms, 11 bathrooms, a five-car garage, pool, wine cellar, and screening room. Guess we can expect to see this featured in a future season of Cribs. It’s certainly well-equipped in the event Puffy needs to sneak one of the gang of hoes he’s known to keep in Dunwoody back to his place. Sadly, the sight of Kim running round the place on some Schoolly D “Saturday Night” shit when she catches him up in some O.P.P. will probably end up on the cutting-room floor.

Speaking of Diddy, how come he still hasn’t handed over the money he raised for charity by running the New York marathon?

Lionel Richie may have gotten crazy paid off of the kinda shit that’s so saccharine, you can feel your teeth starting to rot when you hear it, but he gets props over here because the Commodores were funky like a wet dog. That said, this is the GBs, and we gotta call it as we see it—guy is straight-up pussy-whipped. We’re sure you’ve read by now about how his second wife, Diane, is soon to take him to divorce court and the cleaners, in that order, with a demand for $300,000 per month in alimony payments. Her papers are citing expenses of $20k a year for plastic surgery, electrolysis, and laser hair removal. Read that last sentence again. Now, we’ve seen photographs of the current/soon-to-be-ex Mrs. Richie—she’s 37 years old, and she ain’t exactly Chewbacca. Less widely known is that Lionel’s been here before—not only did his first wife beat his ass up on the regular, but as part of her divorce settlement, she went out like No Face and took half the royalties on all his big hits. For life. On top of that, he has to endure—as do many of us—the embarrassment of watching his adopted daughter Nicole set Western civilization back a couple decades on The Simple Life. Plus, he’s an ugly motherfucker, too. Lionel, we feel your pain.

A very senior European politician and major playa in The Coalition Of The Willing has been having serious family problems recently. We know what they are, and we ain’t tellin’, but take it from us, shit ain’t sweet, and it’s hard to see how the powers that be can keep the lid on it for much longer.

Former Island Def Jam capo Lyor Cohen now has an office at the very top of the Warner Tower, befitting the new CEO of the Recorded Music division. When he was approached for the Warner gig, his main pitch was that they think in terms of “art, marketing, and then promotion,” whereas the other labels do it “marketing, promotion, and then maybe art.” Lyor Cohen, you may recall, was the man who gave Irv Gotti a label deal for Murder Inc.

Which blue-collar hair metal god got into some sordid shit at the MTV Europe awards in Amstradam a few years ago? Or was it Rostradam? Either way, it’s a minor detail, and we don’t concern ourselves with that shit. The real dirt went down after the show. Peep: During the after-party, he got his drink on with a female member of the production staff. The two of them took a tour of the red-light district, where our hero persuaded his companion to buy a big, purple strap-on (his choice of color), followed by the two of them booking a room. Girlfriend proceeded to do our boy like The Gimp did Marsellus for the rest of the night. His way of rationalizing it was that he didn’t feel like he was being unfaithful to his wife if he got down like this.

Speaking of MTV Europe, guess which guest at the 2002 awards had the following items on her rider:
1x chef’s blowtorch
1x bottle of distilled water.

Old-school freebasing like whoa.

From the Can’t We All Just Get Along dept.: You might know that Mista Sinista got booted out of the X-ecutioners because of his penchant for doing both nose candy and Rob Swift’s sister, or sometimes doing both at once. But here’s where it gets interesting: The Beatnuts, and specifically Psycho Les, are now caught in the middle. See, Rob and Les are boys from way back in the day before they had any fame or anything. But Sinista is the one who laid down the insane cuts on the ‘Nuts phenomenal debut LP, acted as their tour DJ, and, sadly, held coke parties with Les. Sources close to the Beatnuts camp say that Les figured he could lay low until the venom between Sinista and the X went away, but there’s still a lot of hate going around, and it’s weighing heavily on Psycho to the point where he’s considering having Rob and Sinista duke it out to officially dead everything. We’ll keep you posted.

Y’all still waiting for that ODB aka Dirt McGirt album on Rocafella? Keep waiting, suckas. A million dollars and some hurt RZA feelings later, the Roc/Dirt connection is beyond repair, and both sides are ready to cut their losses and go their separate ways (Kevin Lyles, hold ya head). But guess which label is waiting in the wings to play clean-up woman for Dirt? Slip-n-Slide. Just sit back and wait for the official announcement, everybody.

You don’t seriously believe that Xtina is cancelling her tour because of “strained vocal cords,” do you? That’s like Martin Lawrence blaming his freakouts on “dehydration and exhaustion.” The real deal is that Xtina was brought down by the trinity of her favorite vices: dick, booze, blow. STD issues, an alcohol-poisoning scare, and uncontrollable nosebleeds probably aren’t what a girl wants.

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