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Roosevelt Franklin – The Interview That Never Wasn’t

By a Gossiping Bitch on January 20th, 2004

Roosevelt Franklin - The Interview That Never Wasn'tOnce in a while, people don’t do what the G.B.’s ask. We know what you’re thinking — How could this happen? Indeed, it shocks even us at times. In this rare occurrence, we like to turn up the heat & bring it on Kokaineikof style in a virtual game of, “Make your move, sucka.” And so it is we force the hand of our would-be opponent, Franklin; bringing you the questions the muppet denied answering in our request for an interview. Email Franklin & his manager, demanding you want to know what’s really good with muppet pussy and designer drugs for furballs! When the fuzzball comes to his senses, we’ll post the answers up right here.

Ever think that Snuffleupagus is really an Uncle Tom?

Did you ever consider marrying Maria or was the Muppet / Human stigma too much to bear? You certainly thought she was good enough to fuck.

Really now, are Bert & Ernie gay or what?

How does a Muppet eat ice cream?

Do you think you’re better than ordinary sock puppets?

Do you think Snuffleupagus is a sell-out or what?

How has the Bush administration affected Sesame Street?

Do you ever catch flak for having more “European” yarn Muppet hair? Are
you a mixed Muppet?

Which is more important to you, Muppet love or Muppet fucking?

Was there any jealousy over Elmo’s sudden and enormous popularity a few
years back?

UPDATE: Roosevelt Franklin agreed to chat it up with the GB’s here.

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