Posts Tagged ‘mtv’
Trifetime: Television for Thugs – August 2010
August 23rd, 2010
Wale Wars Reality Show Young up-and-coming rapper Wale embarks on a national awareness campaign to promote how to properly pronounce his name. Formerly named Wale World, formerly named Wal-E, formerly named Sound It Out: Wah-Lay. Look, we’re gonna keep renaming this thing until you bastards get it right. Producer: Sade (pronounced Sadie) Real Jumpoffs of […]
Pete Carroll to Manage Jurassic 5
November 28th, 2006
Anticipating a loss to Ohio State in the upcoming national championship game, University of Southern California head football coach Pete Carroll held a press conference today to announce his retirement from college football and his new employment as the manager of old-school reenactment troupe, Jurassic 5. “I could not be more pumped or jacked about this opportunity,” said Carroll.
R Kelly Brings One Man Show to Off-Broadway
September 26th, 2005
After bringing down the house at the 2005 Music Video Awards, R&B superstar and overactive bladder sufferer, R Kelly is now taking his show on the road. According to a press release issued earlier today, the one man show titled 2P or Not 2P will be similar in tone and presentation as Kelly’s landmark MTV […]
Backroom Whispers
July 19th, 2005
Look, it’s like this: We’re lazy. The GBs are to hard work what Eve is to bikini wax. We don’t do this for the love. We do this when it pleases us and in our own damn time. Such as when we get bored of shit like arguing over whether the new Common joint is wack or not…
John Mayer Receives Ghetto Pass
March 21st, 2005
In a ceremony held at the Adam Clayton Powell Jr. auditorium in Harlem, New York this morning, the president of the ‘Hood Awareness Association bestowed the official title of Accepted White Musician to guitarist and songwriter John Mayer. The brief ceremony included a speech by the HAA president, the issuing of a plaque commemorating the […]
Da (Broken Up) Band’s Babs Babbling
December 30th, 2004
Irrelevancy, NY — Babs Bunny of defunct MTV Monkees-style experiment with Puffy Combs gone laughingly wrong, Making the Band 1 and 2, is showing signs of mental illness. Well, further signs. Apparently still shocked over the breakup of Da Band and subsequent falling off the face of the Earth, Babs is reportedly under the delusion […]
Backroom Whispers
November 29th, 2004
“You know, the thing I love about Mexican women is how furry their pussies are”? We find that last line works best if you say it with a heavy Germanic accent…Madlib and Slug: A match made in Jansport heaven? Not so fast.
Gossiping Bitches Presidential Endorsement
November 1st, 2004
Let’s face it: There are plenty of reasons to vote against all of these people, or to just go the KRS route and vote for crazy. But on November 2, when you’re staring down a ballot giving you a “choice” between Squinty, Longface, Lazy-Eye, and 7 other dudes you never heard of, what the fuck […]
Eminem Debuts New Reality Show
June 23rd, 2004
Following the success of such mega-hits as The Real World and Road Rules, MTV last week debuted their latest entry into the reality television fray, The Ashlee Simpson Show starring multi-platinum selling rapper and suburban heartthrob, Marshall Mathers aka Eminem. The Ashlee Simpson Show features Mathers as an up and coming actress/singer as s/he deals […]
Music, Watch – Volume 2
June 3rd, 2004
“Gets No Better” is the blueprint for a club song with the entire chorus built around the call and response hook of “It’s your song, ma!” for the ladies and my nephew Swizzle on production. Sir Casio kicks the video off in grand fashion as he invites us to a bangin’ ass party at what looks to be Melrose Place — and even Kanye is there! White on!