Posts Tagged ‘jay-z’
Thug Rappers Clamor for "Shiny Object #7"
January 28th, 2006
“Yeah, I may be coming back and whatever. I’m having sex with Beyonce. Def Jam doing alright. Young Jeezy moving units. Drug raps! Who would have thought it? But what I’m really most excited about right now is that I got an order for Shiny Object #7. I’m supposed to be one of the first ones in the world getting it. I think it’s like some prince in the Middle East and then me. This thing is gonna change the hip-hop game. Either you got it, or your career is over. Y’know?!”
Self-Promotion
October 24th, 2005
We at Gossiping Bitches have always been critical of hip-hop, causing several readers to write us saying things like “why don’t you do it yourself, if you’re so smart?” Well, we are so smart and have indeed decided to start doing it ourselves. That’s right, we have joined the ranks of media companies with their own record labels — because it’s not enough to just report on hip-hop from an objective point of view, we have to be part of the action too! It is this very spirit of selling out that is at the heart (or lack thereof) of the first GB Records release, “Self-Promotion.”
Common: “I’m not gay! No, really.”
May 10th, 2005
In what some are calling a publicity stunt and others are calling a beard, bohemian rapper Common (Sense) today held a press conference to come out as a heterosexual. The announcement comes on the eve of the release of his new album Be, the follow-up to the universally hated and ?uest-loved Electric Circus. Taking a […]
John Mayer Receives Ghetto Pass
March 21st, 2005
In a ceremony held at the Adam Clayton Powell Jr. auditorium in Harlem, New York this morning, the president of the ‘Hood Awareness Association bestowed the official title of Accepted White Musician to guitarist and songwriter John Mayer. The brief ceremony included a speech by the HAA president, the issuing of a plaque commemorating the […]
Backroom Whispers
November 29th, 2004
“You know, the thing I love about Mexican women is how furry their pussies are”? We find that last line works best if you say it with a heavy Germanic accent…Madlib and Slug: A match made in Jansport heaven? Not so fast.
“HHS-ychic” Hotline to Open
November 4th, 2004
Online hip-hop retailer HipHopSite today announced plans for a psychic hotline. The fee-based service, to be named “HHS-ychic,” will allow callers to listen to HipHopSite employees making bold predictions about hip-hop culture. “From an early age, people always suspected I had a gift,” said un-certified psychic, part-time Ed-from-Sandbox hater, and full-time honky Pizzo. “I just […]
Punchline Emcees Scramble to Work Yankees Loss into Raps
October 22nd, 2004
After the New York Yankees’ monumental loss to the Boston Red Sox in Major League Baseball’s American League Championship Series, many opportunistic rappers are already considering punchlines to take advantage of the situation. From backpackers to homo-thugs, emcees are working at a fever pitch to come up with similes relating to the series for use […]
Backroom Whispers
October 18th, 2004
Is the major Hollywood actor who likes call girls to take a shit on glass tables while he lies underneath in only high-heels, simultaneously crying and masturbating, the same major Hollywood actor who was photographed at a party some years ago, enthusiastically fucking a pit-bull?
Backroom Whispers
September 16th, 2003
Ask your kid sis; Ja Rule ain’t no sucka, so he don’t need a bodyguard. Shame. A coupla diesel-lookin’ cats might have stopped him getting all his ice took by some thugged-out English kids when he decided to walk from a show at Po Na Na, a club in Hammersmith, London to the nearby afterparty a little while back.
Media Rappin’: Can’t We Get Harry Allen To Take These Fools Out?
August 28th, 2003
We all know it’s stupid to be on some ol’ “mainstream rap sucks! I only like shit that sells less than 100 copies, cuz that’s the realness!” shit these days. Leave that for clueless midwestern whiteys who wouldn’t know “realness” or even “hip-hop” if it did a drive-by and mowed them all down in a hail of bullets and non-navel-gazing lyrics. The real struggle is not against mainstream rap. The real struggle is against mainstream coverage of rap.