Posts Tagged ‘pitchfork’
Open Job Offer to Nick Sylvester
March 3rd, 2006
Gossiping Bitches proudly offers (former?) Village Voice/Pitchfork writer Nick Sylvester the position of associate editor. Not to say we need any new talent or anything; you’ll have to compete with several of the brightest writers on the web for precious space on a dynamic, constantly updating website. But the fact can’t be denied: we like your style.
Thug Rappers Clamor for "Shiny Object #7"
January 28th, 2006
“Yeah, I may be coming back and whatever. I’m having sex with Beyonce. Def Jam doing alright. Young Jeezy moving units. Drug raps! Who would have thought it? But what I’m really most excited about right now is that I got an order for Shiny Object #7. I’m supposed to be one of the first ones in the world getting it. I think it’s like some prince in the Middle East and then me. This thing is gonna change the hip-hop game. Either you got it, or your career is over. Y’know?!”
Pitchfork Media Admits Hip-Hop Reviews Fake
December 30th, 2004
In a move that surprised few and shocked even less, Pitchfork Media today announced the majority of their hip-hop album reviews were phony. Representatives for the popular site, known for their ultra-pretentious reviews of the latest in hipster music, say many of the bogus reviews were written based on reviewers’ past experiences with Fresh Prince […]
Media Rappin’: Can’t We Get Harry Allen To Take These Fools Out?
August 28th, 2003
We all know it’s stupid to be on some ol’ “mainstream rap sucks! I only like shit that sells less than 100 copies, cuz that’s the realness!” shit these days. Leave that for clueless midwestern whiteys who wouldn’t know “realness” or even “hip-hop” if it did a drive-by and mowed them all down in a hail of bullets and non-navel-gazing lyrics. The real struggle is not against mainstream rap. The real struggle is against mainstream coverage of rap.
True Lies and White Guys
August 19th, 2003
White rappers from New York? The hell, you say! What’s next, terrorists from Saudi Arabia? They went from The Street to Da’ Streetz. Then they became frightened and promptly returned to The Street. The crew is called Sworn Enemies; and if that name is familiar to you, you are probably throwing up in your mouth right now. If, however, you have not heard of them previously, then it is only a matter of time before you do. So, please, enjoy your temporary ignorance in all its bliss, because the Great White Hype Machine is in full effect on this one.