Posts Tagged ‘scribble jam’
“Final Solution” Found for Scribble Security Concerns
August 15th, 2005
This past weekend’s Scribble Jam hip-hop event went smoothly despite security concerns that had previously lead organizers to threaten cancellation. They dealt with the logistical problems of searching all attendees’ backpacks by banning them from the premises altogether. But another, less publicized security issue presented itself as ticket holders began queuing outside the venue, forcing […]
Scribble Jam 2005 Canceled
August 1st, 2005
Today it was announced that Scribble Jam, the annual Mid-Western celebration of White music culture, has been canceled, with promoters fearing complications due to the heightened security measures following the recent London subway bombings. “You have to understand, everyone attending this event will be wearing a backpack,” says promoter Klaus Hoeppner. “It’s just a logistical nightmare.”
Breaking Up Is Suprisingly Easy to Do
May 24th, 2004
“We got a little tired of some of these black rappers we’d never heard of getting our money,” Timothy McPaid of Sworn Enemies explains, digging the hole deeper. “Like, um, Defari, or MURS, and motherfuckers like that. It’s like, I don’t see them on BET or anything. Or Direct Effect, none of that shit. That lazy-eyed La La bitch isn’t playing their shit. But look all up on Sandbox or some of these other underground hip-hop retail internet stores, and they’re everywhere! That’s our target market! White people. They’re on our turf.”
U.S. Intelligence Makes Pale Mistake
March 24th, 2004
In a recently declassified document, released by the United States Office of Internal Records, it was confirmed that a surgical strike force was dispatched in 2003 to Cincinnati, Ohio where the government suspected that a large gathering of the Ku Klux Klan was to effectively converge between August 7-10. The report states that the operation […]
Thousands Set to Attend Their First Hip-Hop Show
March 22nd, 2004
August 12-15 will mark the return of the annual Scribble Jam event to Cincinnati, Ohio (see This Just In: Hip-Hop Dead), rumored to be hosting the first-ever hip-hop popping battle in history. Gossiping Bitches has dispatched a special report team which can be identified by the associated logo you see on your screen. Stay tuned […]
This Just in: Hip-Hop Dead
September 2nd, 2003
Thousands of white people descended onto Cincinnati, Ohio for the annual Scribble Jam event between August 7-10, 2003. Using a special new camera technology co-developed by Kodak and AOL/Time Warner, our on-site photographer managed to take the following picture which helps expose Devils in Disguise; a trait betrayed on film by their redish-reflective eyes: Yes, […]
Backroom Whispers
July 11th, 2003
We all should’ve seen this one coming: in a marriage of low-selling gangstas and high-selling homo-thugs, Murder Inc. and Death Row or Tha Row or whatever it is Suge wants it to be called this week are joining forces to form a superlabel called Murderer’s Row. It looks like mutual hate of Dr. Dre and mutual desire to pump Tupac’s corpse for more cash is enough to land a major distribution deal with Sony. The first single on the new vanity label, “Lead Poisoning” by Ja Rule and Crooked I (with Ashanti and her pitch-shifter singing the hook) is sure to have screaming 12-year-old girls rocking red bandannas in no time.