columns: According to My Sources

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Backroom Whispers

July 19th, 2005
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Backroom Whispers

Look, it’s like this: We’re lazy. The GBs are to hard work what Eve is to bikini wax. We don’t do this for the love. We do this when it pleases us and in our own damn time. Such as when we get bored of shit like arguing over whether the new Common joint is wack or not…

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Backroom Whispers

February 15th, 2005
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Backroom Whispers

At a Tokyo hotel one morning recently, a GB associate entered the elevator to find it occupied by Sly Stallone and his bodyguard. “Good morning,” says our boy. Stallone stays mute, looking straight ahead. The bodyguard turns to our boy. “Mister Stallone says good morning.”

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Backroom Whispers

November 29th, 2004
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Backroom Whispers

“You know, the thing I love about Mexican women is how furry their pussies are”? We find that last line works best if you say it with a heavy Germanic accent…Madlib and Slug: A match made in Jansport heaven? Not so fast.

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Backroom Whispers

October 18th, 2004
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Is the major Hollywood actor who likes call girls to take a shit on glass tables while he lies underneath in only high-heels, simultaneously crying and masturbating, the same major Hollywood actor who was photographed at a party some years ago, enthusiastically fucking a pit-bull?

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Backroom Whispers

October 11th, 2004
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When the music industry is ass-out like it is right now, one thing we get a real kick out of is hearing how some actor or actress just got hit off with a fat-ass contract because they’ve “always been really serious about making music”. The fuck? Example one: EMI just gave Minnie Driver $1.8m for a bunch of shit that makes Jewel sound like MOP.

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Backroom Whispers

June 28th, 2004
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Backroom Whispers

Some of you may remember the Rev. MC Hammer marrying Corey Feldman and his girl Susie Sprague on the set of WB’s carcrash/reality TV show The Surreal Life last year. Apologies if you’ve been trying to forget about it. We began to wonder what the wedding album might look like after a GB associate recently spoke to a photographer who did some work for Feldman back in the ’90’s.

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Backroom Whispers

May 3rd, 2004
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We’ve no idea how closely you follow the lives of Eurotrash like Victoria “Posh” Beckham (ex-Spice Girl, wife of Real Madrid soccer ace David Beckham, and occasional Rocawear model). Not too closely, we’d imagine. So, how interested you’d be in what’s been going on between her and Dame Dash…

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Backroom Whispers

February 23rd, 2004
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Backroom Whispers

Ex-Anti Pop Consortium frontman Beans is touring Europe right now. It can be a lonely life on the road if you’re an alt-rap pioneer, so he decided to place an ad on NYC craigslist, seeking a white woman, clean-shaven (guess he likes a tidy workstation, huh?) to keep him company while he was in London.

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Backroom Whispers

January 19th, 2004
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Backroom Whispers

So some of you saw that “Timbaland to work with Axl Rose” story we threw out there a little way back, and thought to yourselves; “how come I didn’t read that anywhere else?” You think we made it up, didn’t you? We know you did, don’t be lyin’. You think we made it up. Like there aren’t enough “Axl Rose is a stupid no-talent fuck-up” stories out there that we need to go and make one up? Y’know, stories like the one about Axl delivering (and Interscope rejecting) “Chinese Democracy” a year or so back causing Axl to flip out, trash the office of his manager/ex-bodyguard/yes-man, and blow out a sold-out European tour.

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Backroom Whispers

October 22nd, 2003
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Backroom Whispers

How ’bout that Britney Spears? Yeah, so she’s got a new record out and the hype machine’s kicking in. What? We’re citizens of the world here at the GB, and, in that world, Britney Spears is a bigger deal than Busdriva. That’s how it is, so suck it up, Poindexter.

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