For Immediate Release: Gossiping Bitches Debuts
By a Gossiping Bitch on October 8th, 2003
At last, the internet has a purpose besides meaningless chit-chat, online dating, and deviant pornography. Feast your eyes on gossipingbitches.com: the site that makes the internet worthwhile by pointing out how stupid the internet is, by blowing up the spot of stupidity wherever it lurks, and by bringing you the craziest gossip that people are […]
T-Shirts Plight Philadelphia Youth Sexuality
By a Gossiping Bitch on October 2nd, 2003
In Philadelphia, young urban male teenagers are struggling to come to grips with their sexuality as many adorn long, white t-shirts that resemble dresses. What started as a popular trend a few years ago, the “white t-shirt phenomenon” as it has been coined, has spiraled out of control according to many parents in the metro […]
Muslims Ease Alcohol, Drug Restrictions
By a Gossiping Bitch on October 2nd, 2003
Earlier today it was announced, “The GOD” himself, Rakim, would become alcoholic beverage, Hennessy cognac’s latest spokesperson, signaling a new ease of restrictions by Muslims in the United States towards drugs and alcohol. Rakim is a member of the 5% Nation of Gods and Earths. Hennessy also reported it had one of the ugliest websites […]
Dear Gossiping Bitch
By a Gossiping Bitch on October 1st, 2003
Dear Gossiping Bitch,
How much longer are our people expected to endure the stereotypes and slander handed to us by the media? Can we really afford this wholesale exploitation of the ‘hood at the expense of our humanity? You know exactly what I am talking about
Black Holes Make Noise; Claim to Have ‘Defest’ Booming System in Universe
By a Gossiping Bitch on September 19th, 2003
Scientists at NASA’s Cambridge-based Chandra X-ray Observatory have detected massive sound waves emanating from a black hole in the Perseus galaxy cluster. “This is the deep bass section of the cosmic orchestra,” said Peter Edmonds, a Chandra scientist. “Sun Ra would shit his pants if he heard this shit.” Registering at 57 octaves below middle […]
Backroom Whispers
By a Gossiping Bitch on September 16th, 2003
Ask your kid sis; Ja Rule ain’t no sucka, so he don’t need a bodyguard. Shame. A coupla diesel-lookin’ cats might have stopped him getting all his ice took by some thugged-out English kids when he decided to walk from a show at Po Na Na, a club in Hammersmith, London to the nearby afterparty a little while back.
No Limit for Homo ‘Fits
By a Gossiping Bitch on September 9th, 2003
Extending his “No Limit” mantra into the clothing world, Master P has introduced his hiphop-branded “P. Miller” line of clothing; the first homosexual-oriented hiphop clothing line ever. Not surprisingly, the clothing line’s first model is P’s son, Lil Romeo. “There’s no limits for the No Limit Fam,” Master P told reporters at the clothing label’s […]
Hip-Hoppers Hit Up Harry’s Hogwart
By a Gossiping Bitch on September 4th, 2003
Reuters news service reports a gang of hip-hop listening vandals have attacked and defaced Harry Potter’s train, the Hogwarts Express using aerosol paint; an act better known as graffiti. The train, which actively serves travelers between Scarborough and York, is estimated at costing more than $5,000 to repair. “The people who did this are mindless […]
This Just in: Hip-Hop Dead
By a Gossiping Bitch on September 2nd, 2003
Thousands of white people descended onto Cincinnati, Ohio for the annual Scribble Jam event between August 7-10, 2003. Using a special new camera technology co-developed by Kodak and AOL/Time Warner, our on-site photographer managed to take the following picture which helps expose Devils in Disguise; a trait betrayed on film by their redish-reflective eyes: Yes, […]
Media Rappin’: Can’t We Get Harry Allen To Take These Fools Out?
By a Gossiping Bitch on August 28th, 2003
We all know it’s stupid to be on some ol’ “mainstream rap sucks! I only like shit that sells less than 100 copies, cuz that’s the realness!” shit these days. Leave that for clueless midwestern whiteys who wouldn’t know “realness” or even “hip-hop” if it did a drive-by and mowed them all down in a hail of bullets and non-navel-gazing lyrics. The real struggle is not against mainstream rap. The real struggle is against mainstream coverage of rap.