Posts Tagged ‘john kerry’
Gossiping Bitches Presidential Endorsement
November 1st, 2004
Let’s face it: There are plenty of reasons to vote against all of these people, or to just go the KRS route and vote for crazy. But on November 2, when you’re staring down a ballot giving you a “choice” between Squinty, Longface, Lazy-Eye, and 7 other dudes you never heard of, what the fuck […]
Bush Camp Continues Secondhand Dissing
October 12th, 2004
The Internet — In a continued effort to avoid having to deal with any issues of consequence, the presidential campaign of John Kerry expressed tedious outrage over the attack ads of another newly formed so-called independent “527” political group. In one such ad targeting Senator Kerry, a television spot paid for by a group calling […]
Senator John Kerry Asks Public to Vote, Holla Back
June 23rd, 2004
Shoreline, MD &mdsah; Speaking from the deck of his docked yacht in Maryland, yesterday, Presidential hopeful John Kerry delivered a rousing speech beseeching the American public to vote in the polls this coming November. “Now, more than ever, it is time for people to stand up and be counted. I want each and every eligible […]
Bush Campaign Claps Back with Kerry Attack
April 26th, 2004
In the wake of presidential no shot John Kerry’s announcement of his “Remix the Iraq War” platform, the Bush campaign Dirty Tricks Department has already responded with an advertisement attacking Kerry’s hip-hop downess: “I’m George W. Bush, and I approved this message. John Kerry has a lot of wild ideas about remixing the great success […]
John Kerry Promises to Remix War in Iraq
April 25th, 2004
West Palm Beach, FL (AP) — At a campaign stop on Monday, presidential candidate John Kerry revealed to supporters his plan to start from scratch in Iraq and “remix” the entire war. “My fascination with hip-hop is well established,” Kerry told reporters questioning his motivations, and sanity, following the speech. “While some of my opponents […]