Posts Tagged ‘white people’
Sought After Performer: Interview with Lil Kil
August 25th, 2010
Lil Kil of Washington D.C.’s the Knockheadz is one of the most sought-after performers in hip-hop today. His solo mixtape, IMAX in the Streetz is a contender for album of the year, even though it is not actually an album. White journalists/bloggers/Twitterers are afire with enthusiasm for the rapper. Tom Breihan tweets that he is “better than Divine Styler, if I knew who that was.” Jessica Hopper has not called him a misogynist. Noz has posted fifteen sound files and gotten into heated arguments in his comments section.
Review of Asher Roth Album Page On Amazon.com
August 4th, 2009
Music is not worth listening to anymore. Yet, it is still worth hating. The question becomes, how to listen to enough music to hate on with the least amount of effort (yes, even less effort than being an online reviewer). Solution: Amazon.com, which in its futile effort to sell music gives the somewhat motivated Hater […]
White People Collectively Make Same Lame James Brown Joke
December 30th, 2006
(AP) — Comedy took a blow on Christmas day this week as the world learned of the passing of music legend James Brown. Upon hearing obituaries claiming that there would be no disco or hip-hop without Brown, White people everywhere could be heard to reply, “Well, he couldn’t have been that great, then!” After a period of smug chuckling and high-fiving, White people returned to their bologna sandwiches, touch football games, and reminiscences on the “healing power” of Gerald Ford.
Rawkus: Who’d A Crunk It?
October 24th, 2005
Rawkus Records is officially back in business, but those expecting a return to the underground sounds that made them famous may be in for a bit of a surprise. The newly reactivated label today issued a press release stating that all operations will be moved from their original New York City headquarters to Memphis, Tennessee, […]
Reunited, and It Feels So Hood
May 16th, 2005
White rap group Sworn Enemies returns, incomprehensibly. Gossiping Bitches caught up with the three members at their new Los Angeles homebase to discuss their breakup, comeback, and future. That is, until a fight ensued.
Dear Gossiping Bitch
March 31st, 2005
Dear Gossiping Bitch,
Was your interview with Edan real?
Signed,
Mccoy
Dear McCoy,
Of course the interview was real!
Pitchfork Media Admits Hip-Hop Reviews Fake
December 30th, 2004
In a move that surprised few and shocked even less, Pitchfork Media today announced the majority of their hip-hop album reviews were phony. Representatives for the popular site, known for their ultra-pretentious reviews of the latest in hipster music, say many of the bogus reviews were written based on reviewers’ past experiences with Fresh Prince […]
Breaking Up Is Suprisingly Easy to Do
May 24th, 2004
“We got a little tired of some of these black rappers we’d never heard of getting our money,” Timothy McPaid of Sworn Enemies explains, digging the hole deeper. “Like, um, Defari, or MURS, and motherfuckers like that. It’s like, I don’t see them on BET or anything. Or Direct Effect, none of that shit. That lazy-eyed La La bitch isn’t playing their shit. But look all up on Sandbox or some of these other underground hip-hop retail internet stores, and they’re everywhere! That’s our target market! White people. They’re on our turf.”
U.S. Intelligence Makes Pale Mistake
March 24th, 2004
In a recently declassified document, released by the United States Office of Internal Records, it was confirmed that a surgical strike force was dispatched in 2003 to Cincinnati, Ohio where the government suspected that a large gathering of the Ku Klux Klan was to effectively converge between August 7-10. The report states that the operation […]