Breaking Up Is Suprisingly Easy to Do
By a Gossiping Bitch on May 24th, 2004
“We got a little tired of some of these black rappers we’d never heard of getting our money,” Timothy McPaid of Sworn Enemies explains, digging the hole deeper. “Like, um, Defari, or MURS, and motherfuckers like that. It’s like, I don’t see them on BET or anything. Or Direct Effect, none of that shit. That lazy-eyed La La bitch isn’t playing their shit. But look all up on Sandbox or some of these other underground hip-hop retail internet stores, and they’re everywhere! That’s our target market! White people. They’re on our turf.”
RSS XML WTF
By a Gossiping Bitch on May 24th, 2004
Gossiping Bitches has made some changes to our high-tech mainframe computer systems, and have beefed up our support for RSS/XML. Not familiar with this bewitching doodad of scientific trickery? We’ve provided a page for the uninitiated right here with a link to our RSS feeds.
Dear Gossiping Bitch
By a Gossiping Bitch on May 13th, 2004
Dear Gossiping Bitch,
With so much turmoil in our country — wars, civil unrest, poverty, disillusionment with government — what do you think the future holds for us all? Sometimes I think we’re all going to shit, whereas other times I think we’re already living in the shit and just do not realize it yet. I guess what I’m asking here is this
Da Band’s Sarah Does Self, Mountain Dew
By a Gossiping Bitch on May 12th, 2004
Brooklyn, NY — Based off the success of her popular catch phrase, “I’muh do me. Fuck that” on MTV’s Making the Band 2, singstress Sarah has signed a sponsorship deal with Mountain Dew Beverages as the new celebrity spokesperson for their “Dew U” campaign. “We hooked it up with [Sarah’s husband] Tony, and it was […]
Smurf Me That Jawn: A Real World Ongoing Diary
By a Gossiping Bitch on May 12th, 2004
(( This Real World report comes to you in Real Time, as it’s happening )) Philadelphia, PA — 3:17am, May 07 2004 Jesus H. William Randolph…what the fuck is going on out here? I’m laying half-awake-half-asleep, tossing and turning in bed for what felt like 3 or 4 hours. There’s all kinds of yelling and […]
Fake Thug Court Is in Session
By a Gossiping Bitch on May 12th, 2004
The amazing career of Tupac Shakur cannot be pigeonholed with such labels as “fake thug,” “homo thug,” or “total fucking sham.” No, Tupac rose above all those mere terms and made fake thuggery an art, and his records canonize the rules and morals of a fake thug. Who else could be such a convincing on-wax tough guy that people think of him as a “West Coast ridah” and forgot he was actually a lousy East Coast rapper who called himself MC New York?
Backroom Whispers
By a Gossiping Bitch on May 3rd, 2004
We’ve no idea how closely you follow the lives of Eurotrash like Victoria “Posh” Beckham (ex-Spice Girl, wife of Real Madrid soccer ace David Beckham, and occasional Rocawear model). Not too closely, we’d imagine. So, how interested you’d be in what’s been going on between her and Dame Dash…
Bush Campaign Claps Back with Kerry Attack
By a Gossiping Bitch on April 26th, 2004
In the wake of presidential no shot John Kerry’s announcement of his “Remix the Iraq War” platform, the Bush campaign Dirty Tricks Department has already responded with an advertisement attacking Kerry’s hip-hop downess: “I’m George W. Bush, and I approved this message. John Kerry has a lot of wild ideas about remixing the great success […]
John Kerry Promises to Remix War in Iraq
By a Gossiping Bitch on April 25th, 2004
West Palm Beach, FL (AP) — At a campaign stop on Monday, presidential candidate John Kerry revealed to supporters his plan to start from scratch in Iraq and “remix” the entire war. “My fascination with hip-hop is well established,” Kerry told reporters questioning his motivations, and sanity, following the speech. “While some of my opponents […]
Interview from the Afterlife: Gordon Jump
By a Gossiping Bitch on April 15th, 2004
This week’s Interview from the Afterlife took me to the home of former child star Emily Schulman who played Harriet Brindle on the long-running TV sitcom Small Wonder. You may remember her as the horny next-door neighbor who played the foil to virgin/gay/fat son Jamie Lawson. Since the conclusion of Small Wonder, Schulman has been working as a stagehand at the local dinner theater, an escort (as I found out via an exquisite hand job), and an amateur medium.