Russian Chess Player ‘Kokaineikof’ Virtually Buckwhylin’
By a Gossiping Bitch on November 17th, 2003
Chess Grandmaster Garry “Kokaineikof” Kasparov has won game number three against virtual reality supercomputer “X3D Fritz,” tying the score in their four-game challenge at 1.5 to 1.5. Seen in this exclusive Gossiping Bitches photograph, Kasparov demands a kilo of cocaine be supplied, which he referred to as his “special winning ingredient.” Kasparov told reporters that […]
A Predator’s Tale: From Arnie to AJ
By a Gossiping Bitch on November 13th, 2003
Twentieth Century Fox has committed to the often-rumored, long-delayed release of “Alien vs. Predator”, effectively pitting two of the media conglomerates’ most horrifying xenophobes against one another in an all-out war. The Alien of “Alien” fame has seen rather steady employment since his theatrical debut in 1979. With 3 sequels under its belt, a digital-remaster […]
Video Game Character Strengthens Asian Stereotypes
By a Gossiping Bitch on November 6th, 2003
SPIRA, Final Fantasy Universe — Wakka, the nascent character from Square-Enix’s massively popular Playstation2 video game, Final Fantasy X has been fingered as a compulsive camera thief in real life. Friends said the problem developed shortly after his debut Playstation2 game appeared on store shelves. Wakka’s profile on the official Final Fantasy X website describes […]
Interview from the Afterlife: Lucille Ball
By a Gossiping Bitch on November 6th, 2003
Two weeks ago, I had the honor of sitting down and talking with one of America’s treasures, Ms. Lucille Ball. I’m sure many of you are wondering how I spoke with Ms. Ball considering that she’s been dead for years.
Pimps Lament Commodification; Senior Sweeps Awards
By a Gossiping Bitch on November 4th, 2003
St. Louis, Missouri — Gerhard Knapp of Pforzheim, Germany has won this year’s annual Pimp Award Tour ceremony, wowing a bedazzled crowd and throwing them into a celebratory frenzy. Deep in the contest’s 3rd quarter, Knapp appeared on the runway with his back to the crowd. The opening few chords of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” […]
Read & Reign, Bro: An Interview with Party Fun Action Committee
By a Gossiping Bitch on October 30th, 2003
Stephen Richardon and Lars Haighmael originally met at North Dakota State University in a music business theory class. Lars went on to become an A&R executive at Bring Da Ruckus Records out of New York City, while Stephen became a music entrepreneur who occasionally lends his trained ear to demo-listening sessions for Bring Da Ruckus. This Gossiping Bitch caught up with the duo, better known as the Party Fun Action Committee, at Rainbow Falafel on 11th Street and Broadway and asked them a few questions about hip-hop, life, and hummus.
Kobe Bryant, the GB Scoop
By a Gossiping Bitch on October 29th, 2003
Source: LA Times, Chicago Tribune Since the Los Angeles Lakers have been stealing a lot of the Gossiping Bitches thunder, in terms of being gossiping bitches, the hybrid international espionage/sportsdesk thought it only proper to set the record straight. Here is what a bunch of pro athletes are really saying about Kobe Bryant’s case. “He’s […]
New Study Finds Brits Can’t Rap
By a Gossiping Bitch on October 29th, 2003
Thropfordshire, UK — The results of a joint study between prestigious U.S.-based Princeton University and England’s Thropfordshire-upon-Gavenhavensham University were released to the press yesterday, and the findings are quite startling: British people cannot rap. “I’m afraid to say it’s bleedin’ true,” remarked Thropfordshire-upon-Gavenhavensham University Professor Worthingford, sadly, “in most facets of hip-hop, British people scored […]
2 Live Crux Rocks the Casbah
By a Gossiping Bitch on October 24th, 2003
Desert, Middle East — Yassar Arafat gleamed like a child in a candy store this past Thursday when he had a “meet and greet” session with his favorite rappers Luke “Saint” Heavenswalker and Fresh Kid Shallabashachamach of the controversial rap group “2 Live Crux” at his compound in the West Bank. Smiles and pounds were […]
An Oktober Conspiracy
By a Gossiping Bitch on October 22nd, 2003
Now that the baseball season has petered out into a somewhat less than epic match-up between teams representing a Jewish city and a town full of retired Jews, the farbiseners and shmendriks at Gossipingbitches.com hybrid sports/international espionage desk issue this late-breaking bulletin.