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Posts Tagged ‘politics’

Thug Rappers Somehow Believe Obama Presidency Affirms Their Fucked Up Values

August 23rd, 2009
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Nine months into his historic presidency, Barack H. Obama is historically committing acts of historicity almost every waking moment. This is not lost on Thug Rappers.

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Obama Health Care Push to Feature Antibalas Horns

August 7th, 2009
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President Barack H. Obama is touring the country this summer in hopes of rallying support for his health care plan, bringing along a special guest: the Antibalas horns.

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Supreme Court “Can’t Fucking Wait” to Overturn Sampling Decision

October 12th, 2004
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Secret Bomb Shelter, Washington D.C. — After a 6th Circuit Court of Appeals decision putting prohibitive restraints on sampling and effectively ending hip-hop as Puffy knows it, the U.S. Supreme Court is reportedly “chomping, for the sake of argument, at the hypothetical bit” to reverse the ruling in its current term, according to aides. “Whatever […]

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Bush Camp Continues Secondhand Dissing

October 12th, 2004
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The Internet — In a continued effort to avoid having to deal with any issues of consequence, the presidential campaign of John Kerry expressed tedious outrage over the attack ads of another newly formed so-called independent “527” political group. In one such ad targeting Senator Kerry, a television spot paid for by a group calling […]

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Dah Hahh, Dah Help: The Tragic Career of the Rappin’ Duke

October 11th, 2004
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The year was 1985, and for many Americans the future never looked brighter. The Iran-Contra hearings were a full year away and Communism seemed less threatening by the minute. An unlikely hero would manifest as a chattering, computerized head by the name of Max Headroom, offset by the gritty, sockless anti-heroes of the hit crime/drama, Miami Vice.

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Thug Rappers Try to End Iraq War, Cite Slumping Sales

June 25th, 2004
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AP — A petition and public statement presented by a hastily-formed coalition of rappers shocked pro-war politicians and media as it called for the complete withdrawal of all U.S. and coalition forces from Iraq immediately, under penalty of revolution. Titled, “For Real, Fam, Peace In the Middle East. Smell Me?” the missive was signed by […]

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Senator John Kerry Asks Public to Vote, Holla Back

June 23rd, 2004
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Shoreline, MD &mdsah; Speaking from the deck of his docked yacht in Maryland, yesterday, Presidential hopeful John Kerry delivered a rousing speech beseeching the American public to vote in the polls this coming November. “Now, more than ever, it is time for people to stand up and be counted. I want each and every eligible […]

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9/11 Commission Hears Testimony from Hip-hop

June 1st, 2004
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9/11 Commission Hears Testimony from Hip-hop

The National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States (“9/11 Commission”) has returned to the capital from its 3 night hearing May 28-30 on “Evil-Doing as Hip-hop’s 5th Element”. While the Commission wasn’t set to officially reconvene until June 16 for its twelfth and final public hearing, its members voted unanimously to travel to New York for an unofficial hearing, “on the DL”.

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Bush Campaign Claps Back with Kerry Attack

April 26th, 2004
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In the wake of presidential no shot John Kerry’s announcement of his “Remix the Iraq War” platform, the Bush campaign Dirty Tricks Department has already responded with an advertisement attacking Kerry’s hip-hop downess: “I’m George W. Bush, and I approved this message. John Kerry has a lot of wild ideas about remixing the great success […]

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John Kerry Promises to Remix War in Iraq

April 25th, 2004
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West Palm Beach, FL (AP) — At a campaign stop on Monday, presidential candidate John Kerry revealed to supporters his plan to start from scratch in Iraq and “remix” the entire war. “My fascination with hip-hop is well established,” Kerry told reporters questioning his motivations, and sanity, following the speech. “While some of my opponents […]

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