columns: According to My Sources

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Posts Tagged ‘reality tv’

Da (Broken Up) Band’s Babs Babbling

December 30th, 2004
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Irrelevancy, NY — Babs Bunny of defunct MTV Monkees-style experiment with Puffy Combs gone laughingly wrong, Making the Band 1 and 2, is showing signs of mental illness. Well, further signs. Apparently still shocked over the breakup of Da Band and subsequent falling off the face of the Earth, Babs is reportedly under the delusion […]

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GB1’s: “I Hate the Everything” Pt. 1

November 11th, 2004
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Talking out your ass is an American tradition. We live in a culture where not knowing what the hell you’re talking about is rewarded if you are able to maintain an obnoxiously authoritative tone about it. So the GBs got together and thought, "What if we got a bunch of desperate C-List celebrities together to comment and cap on various pop-culture topics?

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Backroom Whispers

October 18th, 2004
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Is the major Hollywood actor who likes call girls to take a shit on glass tables while he lies underneath in only high-heels, simultaneously crying and masturbating, the same major Hollywood actor who was photographed at a party some years ago, enthusiastically fucking a pit-bull?

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Backroom Whispers

June 28th, 2004
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Backroom Whispers

Some of you may remember the Rev. MC Hammer marrying Corey Feldman and his girl Susie Sprague on the set of WB’s carcrash/reality TV show The Surreal Life last year. Apologies if you’ve been trying to forget about it. We began to wonder what the wedding album might look like after a GB associate recently spoke to a photographer who did some work for Feldman back in the ’90’s.

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Eminem Debuts New Reality Show

June 23rd, 2004
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Following the success of such mega-hits as The Real World and Road Rules, MTV last week debuted their latest entry into the reality television fray, The Ashlee Simpson Show starring multi-platinum selling rapper and suburban heartthrob, Marshall Mathers aka Eminem. The Ashlee Simpson Show features Mathers as an up and coming actress/singer as s/he deals […]

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Dear Gossiping Bitch

May 13th, 2004
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Dear Gossiping Bitch

Dear Gossiping Bitch,
With so much turmoil in our country — wars, civil unrest, poverty, disillusionment with government — what do you think the future holds for us all? Sometimes I think we’re all going to shit, whereas other times I think we’re already living in the shit and just do not realize it yet. I guess what I’m asking here is this

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Da Band’s Sarah Does Self, Mountain Dew

May 12th, 2004
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Brooklyn, NY — Based off the success of her popular catch phrase, “I’muh do me. Fuck that” on MTV’s Making the Band 2, singstress Sarah has signed a sponsorship deal with Mountain Dew Beverages as the new celebrity spokesperson for their “Dew U” campaign. “We hooked it up with [Sarah’s husband] Tony, and it was […]

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Smurf Me That Jawn: A Real World Ongoing Diary

May 12th, 2004
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(( This Real World report comes to you in Real Time, as it’s happening )) Philadelphia, PA — 3:17am, May 07 2004 Jesus H. William Randolph…what the fuck is going on out here? I’m laying half-awake-half-asleep, tossing and turning in bed for what felt like 3 or 4 hours. There’s all kinds of yelling and […]

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Backroom Whispers

May 3rd, 2004
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We’ve no idea how closely you follow the lives of Eurotrash like Victoria “Posh” Beckham (ex-Spice Girl, wife of Real Madrid soccer ace David Beckham, and occasional Rocawear model). Not too closely, we’d imagine. So, how interested you’d be in what’s been going on between her and Dame Dash…

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Trifetime: Television for Thugs

March 8th, 2004
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This Wednesday, March 10th, Trifetime Television hits the airwaves (check local listings for availability in your area). Here is the scheduled programming for the new channel’s launch date.

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